The Quiet Voice That Carries Me: Grief, Cancer & Resilience
Tanya’s Story of Love, Loss, and Resilience
Some stories carry immense weight. And somehow, they still make room for laughter, warmth, and grace.
In this episode of the FoundHer Series Podcast, I sat down with Tanya Conlin, a contributor to The Embers We Carry, Lighthouse Book Series, Volume 3, to talk about grief, survival, and the courage it takes to share a story that holds both heartbreak and hope. Tanya’s chapter is shaped by profound loss and extraordinary strength. She lost her husband, Roy, while raising their three-year-old daughter. Not long after, Tanya herself was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer. What followed was not just survival, but a reckoning with how to live, parent, grieve, and heal all at once.
Writing Through What Cannot Be Rushed
For Tanya, writing her chapter was not a linear process. She shared how the act of writing became a way to process emotions she hadn’t fully had time to sit with while surviving day to day. Some writing sessions flowed. Others required long pauses. At times, the words revealed places where healing was still ongoing.
Rather than forcing herself forward, Tanya listened. She let the writing move at the pace her body and heart allowed.
Grief, Cancer, and Learning to Receive
One of the most poignant threads in Tanya’s story is learning how to receive help.
During Roy’s illness, and later during her own cancer treatment, Tanya realized how essential it was to let others support her. Accepting help didn’t come naturally, but it became a lifeline. A lesson forged through necessity, love, and vulnerability. She spoke about how these experiences shaped not only her, but also her daughter who was just three years old when her father died. Parenting through grief required presence, honesty, and an immense amount of tenderness, for both of them.
Humour as a Form of Love in Grief
What makes Tanya’s chapter especially powerful is her ability to weave humour and lightness into a story marked by loss. There were moments of unexpected laughter, including a story about discovering humorous self-portraits Roy had created, which later became part of his memorial. These moments don’t diminish grief. They humanize it.
Tanya is careful not to prescribe a “right” way to grieve or heal.
Her message is simple and generous: everyone finds their own way. Resilience doesn’t mean constant strength. Sometimes it looks like resting. Sometimes it looks like laughing in the middle of tears. Sometimes it looks like writing a chapter you’re nervous to release into the world.
Why This Story Matters
Loss touches all of us, eventually. Tanya’s story offers a reminder that even in the most difficult seasons, there can still be moments of light, connection, and meaning. Her chapter is not about fixing grief. It’s about living with it. About honouring love. About choosing compassion for yourself while walking a road you never asked to be on.
Volume 3 of The Embers We Carry launches April 11, and Tanya’s story will be part of a collective offering that reminds us we don’t have to be fearless to move forward. We just have to keep going.
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“Even in the darkest moments, there can be light. Sometimes it shows up as laughter.”
About Tanya
Contributor to The Embers We Carry, Volume 3
Writes about grief, resilience, and surviving profound loss
Uses humour and honesty to bring light into heavy experiences
Believes in self-compassion, community support, and finding your own way through grief
