School Days: Bullying, Relationships & Choosing Yourself | Michele's Story
Breaking Old Patterns and Learning to Choose Yourself
Some stories begin in classrooms, hallways, and moments where silence felt safer than speaking up. In this episode of the FoundHer Series Podcast, I sat down with Michele Mackie, a contributor to The Embers We Carry, Volume 3 of the Lighthouse Book Series, to explore how early experiences with bullying shaped her relationships, her sense of safety, and ultimately, her journey back to herself. Michele’s chapter, School Days, is a powerful reflection on how patterns formed in childhood can quietly follow us into adulthood and how awareness becomes the first step toward freedom.
When Bullying Becomes a Blueprint
Michele shares how bullying in her early school years didn’t just affect her confidence in the moment, it shaped how she moved through the world. As a child, she learned to rely heavily on her mother for emotional safety. While that support mattered, it also meant Michele never fully learned how to advocate for herself. That dynamic carried forward, subtly influencing her adult relationships. She began to notice a pattern: choosing partners who felt protective and controlling, mistaking control for safety. What once felt familiar eventually became limiting.
Naming that pattern was not easy, but it was transformative.
As Michele reflected on her adult relationships, she began to see them not as failures, but as mirrors. They revealed unhealed parts of her that were still seeking protection and approval. Through this awareness, Michele began the work of choosing herself first, learning that safety can come from within, not from another person.
Cycles, Compassion, and Hard Truths
Michele spoke about leaving high school after severe bullying and encountering a compassionate principal who helped her transfer to a new school. While the intervention was meaningful, it didn’t fully break the cycle. What her story illustrates so clearly is that changing environments alone doesn’t always heal internalized beliefs. True change often requires deeper self-discovery and compassion for the younger versions of ourselves who were just trying to survive.
Writing as a Path to Healing
Writing School Days brought suppressed memories and emotions to the surface. Michele shared that the process wasn’t always comfortable, but it was clarifying. For the first time, she could trace the thread between her childhood experiences and her adult choices. Writing didn’t just tell her story, it helped her understand it.
She expressed deep gratitude for the safe, supportive life she has now and for the opportunity to share her story in a way that might help someone else feel seen.
Why This Story Matters
Michele’s story speaks to anyone who has ever wondered why they keep repeating the same patterns, or why standing up for themselves feels so hard. It offers hope that awareness leads to choice, and choice leads to change.
Volume 3 of The Embers We Carry launches April 11, and Michele will be in Calgary to celebrate alongside the other authors, carrying a story that invites healing, reflection, and self-compassion.
Learn more about the FoundHer Summit here!
“Standing up for myself once changed everything, even if I didn’t understand it at the time.”
About Michele
Contributor to The Embers We Carry, Volume 3
Chapter title: “School Days”
Writes about childhood bullying and its impact on adult relationships
Explores patterns of seeking safety, control, and protection in love
Believes in the power of sharing honest stories to help others feel less alone
