Liberated: Stefi Diebold on Shame, Secrets, and the Freedom of Telling the Truth
What Happens When We Stop Carrying Our Secrets Alone
Some stories sit quietly in the body, waiting. Waiting for safety. Waiting for language. Waiting for courage.
In this episode of of the podcast, I sat down with Stefi Diebold, a contributing author to The Embers We Carry, Volume 3, to talk about one of those stories. Not just the events themselves, but the long emotional echo they can leave behind when they’re carried in silence.
Stefi’s chapter, Liberated, is a powerful reflection on shame, secrecy, and the slow unraveling that happens when we finally allow ourselves to be seen.
From Resonance to Responsibility
Stefi didn’t initially set out to become an author. She was first a reader. Introduced to The Lighthouse Series books by a friend, Stefi found herself deeply moved by the honesty of the stories inside. They mirrored something she had been holding for decades, an experience that had quietly shaped her mental health, her relationships, and the way she saw herself.
What struck her most was the simplicity of the premise: when one person shares honestly, it gives others permission to do the same. That resonance eventually became a sense of responsibility. Stefi reached out, and what followed was a conversation that would lead her to contribute her own story to Volume 3.
Carrying Shame for Twenty Years
In Liberated, Stefi writes about a sexual experience at a young age that resulted in an STD and the deep shame that followed. For over twenty years, she carried this secret alone. Shame is convincing. It tells us that silence equals safety, even as it slowly erodes our sense of worth.
During our conversation, Stefi shared how keeping this part of her life hidden affected her mental health and shaped her interactions with others. The secret became a lens through which she judged herself, often harshly.
Writing the chapter wasn’t a single moment of bravery. It was a process. One that required patience, self-compassion, and a willingness to sit with discomfort as old emotions surfaced.
Breaking the Silence Changes Everything
What surprised Stefi most wasn’t the fear of being seen. It was what happened after. By sharing her story, she began to experience relief, connection, and understanding. Opening up allowed her to meet others carrying similar experiences, many of whom had never spoken about them out loud. In those moments, stigma lost its grip. The secret no longer defined her.
This is the quiet power of storytelling. It doesn’t erase the past, but it changes our relationship to it.
Healing Is a Lifelong Practice
One of the most important threads in our conversation was the reminder that healing doesn’t have a finish line. You don’t need to be “fully healed” to share your story. You do, however, need to understand your own journey well enough to hold it gently. Stefi spoke about the tools that have supported her healing, including breathwork and physical challenges that help her process anger and emotion in her body.
A Life Rooted in Courage and Movement
Originally from Canada, Stefi now lives in Nelson, New Zealand, where she works as a commercial diver. She spoke about her love for the land, the culture, and the slower, more intentional pace of life she’s found there.
As if writing her chapter weren’t enough, Stefi was also preparing for a seven-week hike on the Te Araroa Trail, a journey that feels deeply aligned with the inner work she’s been doing.
Why These Stories Matter
The Embers We Carry exists to normalize the conversations we’ve been taught to avoid. Stories about sex, shame, grief, anger, and survival don’t make us broken. They make us human. Stefi’s courage in sharing Liberated is a reminder that when one person speaks, others feel less alone. And sometimes, that’s where healing begins.
🎧 This episode is for anyone who has ever wondered if their story is “too much,” “too shameful,” or “too complicated” to share. Stefi’s answer is gentle but clear: your truth might be the very thing that frees someone else.
“Speaking the truth didn’t make me weaker. It set me free.”
About Stefi
Contributor to The Embers We Carry, Volume 3
Originally from Canada, now based in Nelson, New Zealand
Commercial diver with a deep love for nature, movement, and personal growth
Preparing for a 7-week hike on the Te Araroa Trail
