If Only I Had Known: Rewriting the Story with Diane Heaton
Late ADHD Diagnosis, Self-Compassion & Rewriting the Story
Some realizations don’t arrive early. They arrive when you’re finally ready to understand your life with compassion instead of judgment.
In this episode of FoundHer, I sat down with Diane, a contributor to The Embers We Carry, Volume 3, to talk about her late-in-life ADHD diagnosis and the profound reframing that followed. Diagnosed at 61, Diane’s story sheds light on the quiet ways ADHD shows up in women, how often it’s misunderstood or missed entirely, and what becomes possible when language finally meets lived experience.
When a Diagnosis Rewrites the Past
For Diane, learning she had ADHD didn’t just explain the present. It re-contextualized her entire life. Moments she once labeled as personal failures, struggles with confidence, social discomfort, difficulty coping, and a constant sense of inadequacy suddenly made sense. ADHD wasn’t something she had misunderstood herself into. It was something she had been navigating without a map.
She shared how deeply this realization affected her self-perception and how much grief and relief can coexist when answers come later than expected.
Writing the Chapter You Never Expected to Write
Writing about ADHD was challenging. Not because the story wasn’t there, but because naming it required vulnerability and trust. Diane spoke about leaning on her husband and son for support as she worked through the writing process, allowing herself to be seen in ways she hadn’t before.
The Lighthouse Series Project including Volume 3, The Embers We Carry isn’t about polished prose. It’s about lived truth, supported by editors and coaches who help shape stories without erasing their heart.
Why ADHD in Women Is So Often Missed
Diane and I explored how ADHD presents differently in women and why so many women go undiagnosed for decades. Societal expectations around behaviour, emotional regulation, and caretaking often push women to internalize symptoms rather than express them outwardly. The result is judgment, from others and from ourselves. Diane spoke about the importance of recognizing ADHD as real and valid, not a trend or an excuse. Awareness, she believes, is an act of liberation.
Why This Story Matters
Diane’s chapter is a gift to anyone who has ever wondered why life felt harder than it seemed for others, or why they felt “too much” and “not enough” at the same time. Her story reminds us that understanding can come at any age, and that it’s never too late to meet yourself with kindness.
Volume 3 of The Embers We Carry launches April 11, and Diane’s story will stand alongside others that invite deeper conversations around women’s health, mental well-being, and the courage it takes to name your truth.
Learn more about the FoundHer Summit here!
“Getting diagnosed didn’t change who I am. It changed how I treat myself.”
About Diane
Contributor to The Embers We Carry, Volume 3
Diagnosed with ADHD at age 61 after years of misinterpretation and self-blame
Explores masking, self-compassion, and the emotional toll of being misunderstood
Passionate about raising awareness of ADHD in women
Believes storytelling can reduce stigma and help others feel seen and validated
